It doesn't matter how honest we are from day one, it only matters how honest we are PERIOD. I sit and am in the process of doing my fourth step. IT HURTS. It makes me sad and frankly it is brutal. One thing I know though, is that the wreckage of my past will always come back to haunt me unless I can clear it and forget it. Uncover, discover, discard. My wife and I are going through this about a thing that came up from 2 years ago. I didn't tell her this thing, because I haven't done my fourth step, but sometimes you just need to be honest. So I came clean about everything related to the matter and other things. It made me feel good, but made our relationship strained. I guess when you are in recovery the wreckage will always be there until you get rid of it, and the way you deal with it shows your growth.