6.30.2009

Letting your Guard down..

In sobriety, or recovery, letting your guard down can cause many problems. The reality is that the relapse happens weeks before the first drink. Not working the steps on a daily basis will make this happen. In my recovery I have let my guard down too much, and that's when the drink can do whatever it wants with me. I am powerless. It's not my will power isn't strong enough, its that I have NO power over the drink....none what so ever. The beauty is that I can reset at anytime during the day, or everyday when I need. God wants me to be happy, God wants me to be clean and sober and God wants me to be the best husband and father I can be. No matter how hard I try, I CANNOT beat this disease, its only God that can help me or actually DO IT for me. I have not been giving him my disease lately, I have been holding on to it for myself. That is where my downfall is, holding on to my alcoholism. Each day I give it up I succeed, but when I keep it, I don't.

God is working in me what I cannot do for myself.

Today I am grateful for:
  • The reset button when things go wrong.
  • Knowing that I am exactly where I need to be.
  • The truths I learn when I don't do what I need, and the truths I learn when I do what I need.
  • My wife and her support. Even in the midst of Chaos.

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