In sobriety, or recovery, letting your guard down can cause many problems. The reality is that the relapse happens weeks before the first drink. Not working the steps on a daily basis will make this happen. In my recovery I have let my guard down too much, and that's when the drink can do whatever it wants with me. I am powerless. It's not my will power isn't strong enough, its that I have NO power over the drink....none what so ever. The beauty is that I can reset at anytime during the day, or everyday when I need. God wants me to be happy, God wants me to be clean and sober and God wants me to be the best husband and father I can be. No matter how hard I try, I CANNOT beat this disease, its only God that can help me or actually DO IT for me. I have not been giving him my disease lately, I have been holding on to it for myself. That is where my downfall is, holding on to my alcoholism. Each day I give it up I succeed, but when I keep it, I don't.
God is working in me what I cannot do for myself.
Today I am grateful for:
- The reset button when things go wrong.
- Knowing that I am exactly where I need to be.
- The truths I learn when I don't do what I need, and the truths I learn when I do what I need.
- My wife and her support. Even in the midst of Chaos.
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