Self Will...STILL????

"On awakening let us think about the twenty -four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives." AA P.56

Is it possible my anxiousness and bitterness can still exist, even though I think I work a program daily? OF COURSE. All week I was seeking something, something to maybe make my head stop. Even though it wasn't a drink, something was still off...that is when I realized, I was trying to be the director in my play. I have not woken up early lately and continued the pattern I started, Big Book, meditation, daily reflections...etc..it has taken me to a crazy head spin....what was I to do?

Well, luckily I have learned in our program that to quiet the mind, we do not need a drink...let what is happening happen....ask your Higher Power to direct you and maybe, just maybe we can reset and realize that it is really not our will anyways. That is why we feel maladjusted, because we still are running our will.

I love learning that I can reset each and everyday, sometimes every minute. I need to ask myself, whose will? My best thinking got me to where I am today, time to listen to a better bus driver!

Today I am grateful for:
  • My brother in law coming in town, we always have good conversations.
  • My wife's understanding...
  • The ability to show up and be considered for a large promotion at work, there was a day that I never thought I would be able to do that.
  • My life changing in good ways....
  • ....and being able to recognize it.

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