Its true when I was drinking and not in recovery that I was very selfish, yet I hated who I was. I know that is odd, but I think every alcoholic feels the same way. Our "self" was the most important thing, however we couldn't admit that we hated who we were. In recovery it is freeing to know that we can think of others and not be enslaved with our selfish thoughts. "Free me from the bondage of self..." as it says in the third step prayer. The bondage of alcohol is what kept us and the freedom from that is the freedom to love ourselves and others.
Today I am grateful:
- A friend is helping us get discount hotel rooms for our vacation, hopefully to Maui!!
- The coffee being made already this morning.
- A restful night.
- My meeting last night, and feeling a little more free each day.
"I was very selfish, yet I hated who I was". I have to now consider that it was my self-entitlement. I didn't like myself but thought I should have whatever I wanted. bleh
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