7.04.2009

Independence Day!!!

As I sit here on the 4th of July I reflect on my own Independence. And frankly my dependence on what has been a major tool in my toolbox for many years. Coping with my feeling and emotions with alcohol. Shutting everything down after that second vodka hit my brain. Today I can be free of that, I can be free of the dependence. I can be independent. It doesn't matter what it is, if we are too dependant on anything our lives will become unmanageable. Food, sex, people, work, drugs, booze its all the same. If you rely too much on it and cant be free from it, it is going to ruin your life. Or at least make in unmanageable. I am grateful today that I can strive to be free, that for this 24 hours I am free from alcohol and feelings of shame and guilt that come along with that. The trick that the alcohol plays on me is the feeling of Independence when I am drinking. The catch is you are not free, you are dependant on it and the feeling is fleeting. I am glad to have realized that today. Happy freedom to all!

Today I am grateful for:
  • The people who have shed blood for my freedom and have kept it alive at all cost.
  • My wife and her program.
  • My daughter.
  • The freedom I am starting to feel.
  • My meeting this morning and all it has done for me.
  • People in my program who are helping me with or without knowing.

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