I have trouble committing to things, commitment means to me routine and dealing with feelings and not being able to escape. And to escape, for me, is the one thing that leads me to drink. In the rooms of AA I try to stay grounded, try to learn not to escape any kind of emotion. Sad, Anger, Fear, Happiness, everything. I have found in the past when I find some sort of routine that is working I can quickly sabotage that program or plan. If I stay in the moment each day, I don't escape or stop doing what is working. Keeping my program simple and my feet grounded to where I actually am standing has helped me to understand why I try and escape. Why I try to leave whatever moment I am in, good or bad.
Today I am grateful for:
- My wife coming home from her trip, I loved my time with my daughter but Daddy needs a break!
- My daughter and I's special time, it was a great weekend.
- Being able to go to a meeting tonight, I have been unable for 3 days.
- Entourage coming back tonight, one of my favorite shows!!!