In life, as in our program, we tend to listen to ourselves more than we should. I have heard many times in the rooms, "It's my best thinking that got me here." Any selfish motives in life lead us to bad things. For me it was the instant calming and gratification of drinking. For others, it might be any number of things. The reality is that as long as we run a life on self-will, we will not succeed. Whether we are alcoholics or not. There is a story in the Big Book on page 60 that compares alcoholics to actors who try to control or "put-on" the whole show. The lights, orchestra, director, all the parts..etc...we cannot do that in life. We cannot control everything around us...when we try we only fail, and fall hard.
For me, I try to slow down and not to listen to self. To try to stay connected to my Higher Power and what is best for me. Sometimes I think what I should do and do the exact opposite. That is powerful for me, because as I said before, it was my best thinking that got me here.
Today I am grateful for:
- Spending some early morning time with my daughter alone...she is fun..
- My wife and her caring attitude towards my recovery.
- That some differences happened at my meeting and when asked I could say, "I don't have an opinion." and stay out of it. I never would have done that in the past...always sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.
- God changing me.