First Day, Long Day

Today is a new day. Adventure around every corner and God willing a sober day. I suppose I should start this Blog with my story. I am a 37 year old drunk. My father was a drunk, my mother was a drunk, aint nothin but a family thing. The weird part is until yesterday I never truly believed I was a drunk. I had been in and out of the halls of recovery programs. Had tried everything on my own. Told people I was an alcoholic, but then drank with those same people. Didnt tell some people, and continued to drink with them. The latest events, though not too terrible, have finally shined a light on something. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I cannot change that, no matter how much I think I can. I cannot escape that reality. I cannot change my DNA. I cannot, with my will alone, beat this disease. Its funny, though not in a commical sort of way, that almost one year has gone by since I started trying to sober up, and I cant put 30 days of sobriety together. Always thinkging I could beat it on my own and I will be able to drink "normally" someday. Cunning, Baffling and Powerful doesnt even begin to describe alcohol to me. How can a seemingly smart guy let things get this way. That is the whole point I didn't "let" anything happen, no more than the cancer patient "let" cancer in their body. I guess its a good thing, self realization. Although, I feel as if I am starting a race over and over again, and never get to the finish line. I am trying to be grateful daily.

Today I am Grateful for:

A loving wife that works her program.

A beautiful daughter.

The Courage to Change.

Lessons learned, even if they are late in life.

Thanks for reading, I hope you can follow my journey and we can all retreat from insanity.

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