4.18.2009

Staying in the moment...

This morning was tough. Really tough for me to stay in the moment. I awoke with no problem and was excited to go to my Saturday meeting. I got up did my normal coffee routine and checked my mail. There it was, the invite to Dallas to see the Cowboys play my favorite team, from a good friend of mine. This friend does not know about my struggle, as he lives very far away and when we do talk, its mostly of sports and family. Without skipping a beat my mind went straight to insanity. "How am I gonna not drink or use while there?" Now, this is happening in December mind you, but in 1 minute I had already played out the whole tape. Whats going to happen and how in the world I am going to get through it. I had to stop. Concentrate on today. Now. This minute. I drove to my meeting and was able to get myself back in the moment about 10 minutes into my meeting. I am glad I did as it was a very good meeting. This is something new to me, living in the moment. Being an alcoholic, things were either thinking about the past or future. Never being present for anything. I checked out A LOT!!! Today I can concentrate on how to live today and my Higher Power will give me the answers. I don't need the answers for December, only for today. It's like taking a test in first grade and wanting the answers for freshman year of high school. That makes little sense, if any at all.

Today I am grateful for:
  • My meeting and the serenity it brought to me.
  • Learning a little more about "present me"
  • The sunny weather today, and the smile it brings to my family.

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