Humble Pie....

"All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards" AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271

These words are so true. I was never humble as a drunk, I was either cocky and arrogant. Or so full of remorse and self hatred that I couldn't see straight. When I first started in the program I thought I was humble, or at least getting humble. That was so far from the truth it was disgusting. I kept relapsing and then going thru my whole cycle it was so sick. I would go to a bar in my relapse and be cocky and arrogant and buy drinks for everyone, like I was a big shot. The truth was I probably either borrowed that money or was using money that was meant for something else. And responsibility? Wow, it was everyone else's fault. The deal didn't close because so and so didn't do their job, or I drank because you made me so mad. It was amazing to see how much I didn't take responsibility or become humble. This time around I am trying to just shut up and listen and to take responsibility for what I have done, and frankly what I am still doing. Just to be humble enough to know that when a sober person, that has some time, tells me to do something, I NEED TO DO IT. That person has stayed sober so obviously there is something they are doing right.

Today I am grateful for...
  • FRIDAY!!!!
  • The serenity I feel for the meeting this morning.
  • Forgiveness
  • Having had dinner with my sponsor and running into another alcoholic and the conversation we had.

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