It comes to me as a surprise sometimes that my story is not really different than most alcoholics. At least that is what I have seen in the rooms. Always the life of the party, isolated when not drinking, isolated while drinking, the funny guy, the party guy, the guy everyone wanted to hang out with.....till they got too drunk.
I don't remember a lot of things about my drinking, but to this day I remember my first drink. It was at a party at a little club in my home town. Los Cab. Used to play racquetball there, swim, was kinda like the in place to join if you lived in my town. One of the kids in high school had a party, and I never drank but went anyways. I was outside with some of the guys and this kid, Ryan, came up and was like "no one can beat me in chugging a beer, I am the best". Apparently he had beaten like 10 people inside. Being the alcoholic I am, though ha vent drank yet, I said, B.S. Ryan go get me one. Nothing like an ice cold regular Bud for your first drink. Well needless to say I won. Funny enough though I didn't drink much after that. For me it was just winning that bet...I continued to not drink. It wasn't till many years later that my drinking took ahold of me. I could go on a tirade of a drunkalog, but that is not what this blog is for. It is about recovery, where I am at now, where I am going. Not where I have been. I shared this story to point out one thing. I was an alcoholic before I took even one sip of that beer. My DNA was set, my mannerisms in place, my head already thinking like a drunk. It wasn't the beer that made me the alcoholic, it was me. SO as Paul Harvey would say...that is the rest of the story.....
Today I am GRATEFUL for:
The woman at the DMV who was finally kind to me after 4 hours.
The patience of my wife.
Knowing that even in the face of unexpected monies spent, God is watching out for us. We have his favor.
For the hug I got last night as I put my baby girl down and said prayers with her.