Self...most important being of all..

To be fair, alcoholics are selfish, which is why when we act out while drinking the only person that matters is ME ME ME. It doesn't matter if you are related, not related, nice, mean or whomever, we will RUN OVER YOU to get what we want. Lie, cheat, steal, manipulate and portray whatever we can to get what we want. I did all these things, and struggle on a daily basis to quench the fires that this Demon starts.
However, as I heard today at a meeting, healing self is the most important aspect of our sobriety. The funny thing is as we release our selfish ways, we tend to love ourselves more, to see what we really can be and what we love about ourselves. A woman today at the meeting talked about learning to love herself in the beginning of sobriety. She would carry a picture of her as a little girl and when she wanted to self deprecate or hate she would look at that picture, of that child, she would think of how she would treat that child. The love that she would have for that child, and how others would love that child. That really was interesting to me. In sobriety we must put our self first, but not in a selfish or hurtful way. We need to understand the difference, loving ourself is very different from being selfish and just trying to get what we want. I hope to learn to love myself, and put myself first, but in a good and healthy way.

Today I am grateful for:
  • Returning to my favorite meeting and taking a commitment to help out. This helps me maintain my sobriety.
  • The great big hug my daughter gave me this morning.
  • Finding another alcoholic to talk to, and to take me thru the steps.
  • Letting God take care of a problem I have, and KNOWING it will work out.

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