4.14.2009

Let me be honest...

Wow that title even makes me cringe. If you are reading this and you know me than I have lied to you. If you are reading this and don't know me, that's not a lie! In the rooms of AA I have found many character defects, but none as overwhelming as dishonesty. I lied about everything, then I told more lies to cover those lies. On another Blog I read a quote by Fr. Leo that spoke about lying, then lying some more to cover it up. That was me to the T. And if I am to be honest, I still have such a problem with lying. I tell the stupidest, most annoying lies. I lie about everything. I started when I was a kid to cover up things and it has become my nature. This is going to be the hardest road for my recovery. I need help on this. Anyone who reads this please comment and let me know what has helped you be more honest in your lives. I will write more later about this, but for now I am just looking for some help if you can...thanks.

Today I am grateful for:
  • Having a job.
  • My ability to refresh each day. I never was able to do that.
  • Working from home today.
  • My daughters smile.

3 comments:

  1. Hello from one liar to another! It seems that in the past several years it has just gotten to complicated to be someone I am not. My attitude now is to be me; and you can love me or hate me but I have to be genuine. Otherwise I just don't like myself very much. Truthfully some people just hate me. That's ok; as long as I like me I am good. Also...life is so simpler to just be truthful even about the little stupid stuff! Also I have a significant relationship with my God, and I know He knows...so really who am I kidding!

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  2. The surrender it took for me to get sober has also helped me be more honest. I find myself astonished when I answer some thing with the truth, because often I want to answer with a lie. It takes practice to drop that old behavior. The first step is to be willing, then open minded--then honesty can more easily make its way into our consciousness.

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  3. As Scott said, the first step is to be willing to tell the truth, no matter the consequences. As you forgive yourself and open yourself to your new sober life, your Higher Power will always be there for you.

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